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By Allison Daytona Ken Date 2010-12-06 15:20
A friend of mine sent this to me:

The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly

> explained.....
>
>
>
>
> The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General.
>
> The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
>
> The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
>
> The North has switchblade knives; the South has .45's.
>
> The North has double last names; the South has double first names.
>
> The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.
>
> North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.
>
> The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.
>
> The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.
>
> The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt.
>
> FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH. .. ....
>
> In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a
> four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't
> try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
>
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... Do
> not buy food at this store.
>
> Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is
> plural possessive.
>
> Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'
>
> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use
> it.
>
> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
> understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
> transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or
> 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
> way. All of them are in denial about it.
>
> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
>
> Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here.
>
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay
> out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
>
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
> accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.
> It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go
> there.
>
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they
> are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim..
>
> In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is
> to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
>
> AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think
> we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
> oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits

Previous Next Up Topic Off Topic / Rants and messages / YANKEE or REBEL ???? (2037 hits)

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